You’re a wedding guest! (Not the bride.)
In our growing world of social media and abrupt comments etiquette can be casually left at the door so to say and carelessness will bring about things that should not be said to the bride on her wedding day.
If you’ve been a bride and have endured all of the cheers, and tears, while planning your own dream day then you will relate. And it’s okay to nod your approval or even share this information. Chances are you were on the receiving end of some or all of these questions or not to well thought out statements from one of your own guests.
But let’s back up first. Our bride has spent countless hours, not too mention careful consideration at each financial decision, in the planning. And each of these decisions were either inspired by principle, or that often difficult budget. I used the word “countless” back there. Some decisions are easily made and others require serious deliberation all with the goal of creating that perfect dream day. So the real takeaway from this post is to point out the things that should never be spoken to on her dream day. In other words bite your tongue and let her bask in the glory of her wedding.
“How much is this wedding costing you?”
After spending months and months carefully considering the cost of everything the bride’s wedding day is the day to let it go, and enjoy. Such a personal matter is best spoken about at another time. After all this is a celebration of unity and love and definitely not an economics class.
“I thought you were trying to lose weight.”
Some the greatest images taken during a lifetime are on the day of your wedding! Why would you take the chance of dropping the idea of weight in the mix of the day? Each moment throughout the day that is captured in images results in that portfolio that will last generations. These all important photos capture the essence of the wedding day through facial expression and body language.
“I didn’t see any favors.”
For decades many have followed those “guidelines” in planning a wedding…the rules. The fact of the matter is that today there aren’t any rules in planning the perfect wedding with the exception of one, following your heart. And besides, don’t the favors usually end up on a shelf in the garage.
“Didn’t (insert name here) do the same thing?”
Maybe (insert name here) did do the same thing. Let the bride have her own thunder! And even if so-and-so did do the same thing this repetition should be seen as a compliment and not so much a copy.
“Why isn’t so-and-so a bridesmaid?”
Laying aside that “it’s none of your business” detail perhaps the reason is not one that a bride needs to be reminded of during her marriage celebration.
“When will you have babies?”
Really? No. Really? They just said “I do.” Let the newlyweds enjoy their day with celebration first.
“Why couldn’t I bring a guest, a plus-one?”
And while you’re at it ask “Why isn’t the bar open?” The budget for a wedding in most cases can be an absolute beast! Each bride has a dream yet it will be tempered by realistic determination. Reality dictates decisions like this. I’m hesitant to add this but what if the bride didn’t want your “plus one” there on her day?
“I saw something like that on Pinterest.”
I could write volumes on the subject of Pinterest, both for and against when it comes to planning a wedding. (Pinterest brides are some my favorites by the way but I’ll save that for another post.) Chances are at this point that whatever you see visually about you either wedding related or not is on Pinterest but this does not necessarily mean the bride’s presentation of ideas and design were gained from Pinterest.
And never ever drop this one…
“Whatever happened to (insert ex’s name here)?”
Don’t. Just don’t go there!
Of course all of this is subjective and proper etiquette might inspire one not to broach these items on the day of the wedding yet if a bride should bring them up that’s a different story. And even then my suggestion is to keep your approach very topical.
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